There are a myriad of reasons as to why many relationships end badly. Sometimes in spite of the best efforts of both parties it still does not work. But more often than not many a couple has made a concerted effort (consciously or unconsciously) to sabotage their relationship. While there are a number of ways to throw a monkey wrench into the proceedings, the following must be at the top of any list when it comes to breaking up.

1. Communication Barrier

This is one of the main reasons relationship coaches remain in business. Many couples don't talk. If they do talk at it all it's usually past each other or turns it an argument. Lack of communication also is to a certain degree a lack of trust. You don't believe you can share more of yourself. Whether it's fear of rejection or just not believing they will be understood, the lack of trust can easily turn into not sharing anything at all.

The added side affect is that it has a tendency to put the other person on the defensive. They believe now they have done something wrong and since you are not giving them any indication one way or the other, the tension grows.

2. Money

We've seen many shows where a couple arguing over money has been played for laughs but in the real world it's no joke. A survey by Redbook and Smart Money magazines shows over seventy percent of people in a relationship talk to their partners at least once a week about money. It is so easy with soaring prices across the economic board for a discussion about basic household finances to get heated. Taking care of the family and home should be a gimme but even in that situation two people are bound to have a different perspective.

This is true even if you don't have money troubles. One partner might not feel it's a big deal since they have money to burn. That can cause some resentment particularly if one of you has been the primary breadwinner. No one can (or should) get their way all the time in any healthy relationship but there has to be boundaries. By all means make sure you and your partner do not work out a clear understanding or honor any financial decision you may reach.

3. Player

This should go without saying. So why doesn't it? In a recent study conducted by Infidelity Facts, 57% of men and 53% women surveyed admit to cheating on their partner regardless of whether it is dating or marriage. Excuses can range from they are stuck in a loveless relationship and the new person makes them feel alive again to the thrill of sneaking around and doing something a bit reckless.

Whatever the excuse, introducing a third person into the picture means in essence the current relationship is over. "I love my spouse but..." is not going to cut it. Any chance to work out whatever problems you may be experiencing in your relationship will disappear once you get entangled with another person.

There is no quick fix or magic cure when it comes to relationships. It's hard work day by day, hour by hour. Even couples that have been together awhile and think they have the problems solved are shocked when life turns their relationship upside down. However if you want your relationship to end badly feel free to use any or all of the techniques above. They are guaranteed to do the trick.

What also happens a lot when you start to argue is that you become so stubborn and defensive. They are evil enemies of the healthy relationship. What you want to do is think about what is really important to you. Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? The ego is very powerful and most of the time you won't have the degree of control that you need, but with practice it is possible to control it most of the time and when you do, you are finally free.

Always try to be honest even if it embarrassing or if your partner get hurt. Some say that white lies are a good thing and I used to believe that too until I discovered that white lies has a way of escalating until the point that it's not so white anymore and you make up more lies to cover up the "little" white lie you told your partner to spare some feelings. So trust me when I say this, no matter how hard it is to tell the truth, always start with that as a baseline. You will not regret it in the end. If your partner can't handle the truth, then maybe it's not meant to be.

Want some excellent relationship problem advice? Pay attention to your partner and don't be wrapped up in your own little world. Everyone has thoughts and feelings, and no one likes to be left out. If you don't want to lose trust and love from your partner you need to give your partner a lot of attention. Sometimes it is hard because you have a lot of things on your mind, but the alternative is far worse. If you seem distant and seem like you don't care, what will your partner think? Probably the worst and he/she could be right, so pay attention and your relationship will flourish.

Do not start a lifestyle of nitpicking and nagging. This is one of the cardinal sins of the relationship. If you constantly pick on your partner for not doing something right, it will go bad very fast. Your partner might be the most patient person on the planet, but don't count on that to save your relationship. If you have something to say, then talk about it, communicate instead of constantly complaining.

Which bring us to the next point, communication. I cannot tell you enough how important an open and free line of communication is in a relationship. Think of it like two islands without airports. The only way they can go to each other easily is with a bridge built between them. If that bridge gets broken, no one knows what goes on. The same thing happens in relationships. If you don't talk, then you don't know what's going in with your partner and the other way around. You need to keep communication flowing, and I don't mean talking about your day, even though that is important too, but important issues. Make sure you talk to your partner about everything, no matter what it is. After all, I assume you are with your partner because you want to share your life with that person, so you want someone you can talk about absolutely everything with.

Last but not least, NEVER take your partner for granted. When you are with your partner for some time, you start to feel comfortable because you feel safe about you and your partner. That is good, but do not think for a second that your partner won't ever leave you because it will happen if you don't care about the small things. Tell your partner how much you love him/her and surprise him/her from time to time. Keep it fresh and exciting. A relationship is hard work, don't let anyone tell you different, but the rewards are infinite and believe me when I Say that you really want to keep your partner happy.

This is probably one of the most important articles about relationship problem advice that you will ever read because the points I have brought up equals the sum of happiness. So read this, use this and live happily ever after.

Can divorce be the lone answer to this problem? If a couple is unhappy with their marriage, there are better solutions than divorce procedures. Here are some of them:

1. Treat problems as challenges. There is no perfect marriage. There will always be problems that will arise within the marriage. They may be health related, financial, and even emotional problems. If the husband or wife dwells on these problems, it will only worsen the situation. It will only lead to blaming one another and finding fault with each other.

Problems should be treated as challenges. They are there to make the marriage stronger. The husband and wife should have a positive outlook on these problems, learn to handle them and find solutions instead of letting themselves be consumed with these trials.

2. The couple should learn to understand one another and maintain an open communication. Marriages become unhappy when open communication no longer exists. Open communication is very important so each other's needs and wants, as well as their feelings are known.

Often married couples tend to be unhappy with the relationship because their partners have become strangers to them. They no longer know one another, which leads to a very unhappy marriage. Communication is a way to know the spouse better and become closer.

3. The couple should find ways to rekindle the spark they once had. There are times that couples become unhappy with the marriage because they no longer appreciate each other's company. They become focused only on their jobs, friends, children or household issues.

The couple should find ways where they can spend time together. They may want to try new things like traveling, dining out, or go to places where they can spend quality time together. They can do the things they used to do before they got married such as send cards, buy small gifts or send flowers. Reminiscing about happy moments they once shared will help them rekindle the love again.

There are many ways where to solve unhappy marriages. It is very important to have spiritual strength. Couples need to have faith and continue praying for their marriage. Spiritual strength will give them love, patience, understanding, forgiveness and trust which will make them happier as a married couple.

I listened intently to the young woman as she told me about how she felt lost and unhappy. Her story was just like hundreds of others I had heard over the last few years, she had been married for a while, and now all at once, she was headed to pack those suitcases and run. In her mind, the marriage was not fulfilling, the 3 kids were driving her nuts, and even though they owned 3 houses a boat and new car, nothing seemed right in her life. She looked unhappy, and wanted someone to tell her that it was ok to leave, that it was ok to run, and start again, but I had no intention of telling her that. She had come to me looking for answers and yes she would get them but not what she thought. I kept listening and asking questions, as little by little more of her story came out, it seems her best friend had been killed a year ago in a car smash. A young woman even younger than the one that sat before me now, life snuffed out in the flash of an eye.

She said she didn’t know why this happened to someone who was such a good person, and somehow couldn’t come to terms with it; the grief was still so strong. She struggled to gain composure. as she talked quietly. She sure wasn’t afraid of life, she was strong, had courage, and a hard worker, what most people call a good person. In her next breath she began asking whether I thought she should sell one of her houses to cash herself up for the leaving. I just listened as she ran through all her options. Her husband wasn’t a bad man, that’s for sure, he did over control her, and in response she was wanting to break free and let it all go. After about an hour, I simply looked at her right in the eye, and said, “You know this isn’t about your husband, or your kids, this is about you.” “I have seen so many marriages break up because people feel exactly like you do now, when in fact its not really what your spirit or soul is trying to wake you up too. You are at a time in your life where you have lost your best friend, she is gone.

Her death has shaken you in a way that has subconsciously rattled your whole life to the core. Now you’re in fact wondering what life is all about, will it be you who dies next, or what could you have achieved? Your soul wants you to find your destiny, and it’s not about the partner and not about the kids – this is 100% about you and who you are, and how you are living your life. Leaving your husband and starting a new life may sound like it’s the answer, but I can assure you its not. If you do I guarantee in a few years time you will be going through this all over again. You see if you don’t find YOU now, if you just make another sidetrack in life, sooner or later, you are going to be right back here, squirming and feeling lost and lonely, unfulfilled and angry. I want to ask you, “What happened to the girl your husband married?” “The happy funny, carefree easy to be with person?” “Where did she go? ‘ She shook her head, “I guess she got to serious.”

What I suggest is that you just stop – stop thinking all the scenarios out, stop trying to control the universe, and get back to doing things and thinking about only the things that make you really happy. Simple things like sitting on the beach, playing with your kids, having fun, in a natural healthy way. If you love cooking then cook, if you love singing then sing. Let your soul come and show you the way. When your unhappy and depressed and angry, your energy your life force is separate from your spirit, when a person is happy and enthusiastic and in a state of joy then the spirit is fully present. When your spirit is present things will just happen to you. Opportunities will just appear, and your life will show you the way. You don’t need me or anyone to tell you what to do, somewhere inside you, you already know. And remember, its not going to be solved by leaving your husband and running away, that I can guarantee……….

Many couples become unhappy because they do not have that money in the first place. Poverty is one of the leading causes of strife in families. When things are alright financially, the marriage is more vibrant. Other issues include lack of satisfaction sexually. This is another leading cause of unhappiness. Couples become too familiar with each other until they no longer find any pleasure in sex. It is really a sad tale observing what marriages have to grapple with everyday. The good news is that you can do something about it. If you are in the marriage for good times and bad, you will find a way to make it work. First, establish what the particular cause of the unhappy marriage. All couples have unique problems and, you should always analyze your case independently. If your spouse has been laid off and as a result you have argued because money is not enough, stop in your tracks.

You need to show him or her love. Love is the only thing that can solve your problem. Do not appear to be judging them or looking down on them. Change your attitude and assure them you are in solidarity. Most partners will put each other down as a way of venting their anger or disappointment. However, both of you have to come up with a good plan for your survival. In cases of infidelity, you need to a lot of willingness to work things out. The end result will have to be forgiveness. It is not easy forgiving someone who put your union to shame. However, with the realization that every man or woman will error at some point, you can forgive and forget. Maybe it will be you begging forgiveness the next time. If you prepare and open your mind to the reality of problems in marriage, you will have an easier time dealing with some issues that can prove inevitable.

In the next two minutes, you will discover how you complicate your relationships.

First, who said you had to be in a relationship to feel loved, cherished and to have a good time?

Second, if what you are doing isn't working maybe it's time to try something new and different.

Here's what I propose...stop looking for a relationship and start looking for companionship!

Think about it!

Don't you want someone you can...

• Spend time with
• Who is truly interested in you
• Likes similar activities
• Fits your lifestyle
• And much, much more

...then stop looking for a relationship. When you look for a relationship you focus on expecting something to happen. For example, you get involved with a person hoping it leads to a long-term relationship, marriage and maybe children.

However, when you focus on companionship your future with the person is not important. What's important is, "Are you two compatible enough to do activities with each other."

There are no expectations! Just two people enjoying each others company. When that happens anything and everything is possible.

Take a moment and think about your best friends of the opposite sex! You don't expect anything from them in terms of a relationship. Yet, you thoroughly enjoy spending time with them.

Once you have companionship it can develop into more. Remember, the key is not what it will evolve into but are you enjoying yourself with that person!

That little shift in your thought process will have dramatic life-changing effects.

Let me give you an example. I met a wonderful women about two years ago. We became friends. While I was definitely attracted to her and wanted to have a relationship she wasn't having it. She made it perfectly clear it will be, "just friends."

At first it was difficult to be just friends because I was really into her. Then one day we had a conversation and I realized I was holding myself back by looking for a relationship.

I began to immediately separate and discard the relationship feelings and adopt the companionship feelings. I finally understood, after thirty-five years, I didn't want to be in a relationship. What I was always looking for was companionship...

• Someone to do things with
• Someone to talk with who has similar beliefs and heading in the same direction
• Someone who cared about me
• Someone who took an interest in me and what I do for a living
• Someone who made time for me because they wanted too not because they felt obligated
• Someone willing to give without me having to ask all the time
• And much more

If you're still stuck looking for a relationship, I wish you well and hope everything works out for you.

However, if you're willing to adopt the companionship mindset you will have endless possibilities available to you!

It won't be easy! It took me about six months to make the transition. However, I was ready and looking for a way to improve my life. I am so happy I did!

I could never understand why someone would choose to be with his/herself! Now I know!

Do yourself a favor and stop settling for unhappy relationships and improve your love life. Try making the shift to companionship and see what happens! What do you have to lose?

There is no one way to understand loneliness, it happens to each and every one of us at some time or another. Loneliness is an emotion like all other emotions with both positive and negative aspects.

Loneliness in an unhappy marriage tends to bring out the negative aspects that are more familiar to us such as the feeling of emptiness, self-pity and tears plus feelings of discouragement and of being unable to overcome even small obstacles.

The plus side of loneliness is that sometimes you need to be alone with your thoughts, they can help you to identify what is and what should be important to you. Thoughts act as a guide to show us where and how to turn a negative situation around.

Overcoming loneliness begins with building your self-confidence up. Recognizing who you are and what you can be will shift your expectations of yourself. By making a habit of focusing your attentions on the small steps that you've made in developing and building up your self confidence and that, All Alone feeling will start to pass.

Living in a lonely marriage that already has problems can be more than difficult and that feeling of loneliness can be devastating when the one person in your life doesn't listen or seem to care about your wants and needs, and isn't easy to talk or relate to.

Regardless of how down hearted and discouraged you become you have to learn how to turn negative situations around in your favor.

We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed: we are perplexed, but not in despair. II Corinthians 4:8